Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Meet my daughter
My friends know how irresponsible I can get, and how much I hate responsibility. During highschool, I'd hate my teachers when they make me a leader or whatever. I dont let my classmates elect me in class, I'll hate them forever if they'd do (which they did during 1st year highschool)
I was a wild child. Careless. Free. And a girl who can definitely drink with guys (I'm big with alcohol before!). I would flirt non-stop, and would steal someone's boyfriend. But like what they say, Karma's a bitch.
I was in second year college, Im with this guy who really loves me and I, stole him from a girl. Im not down with commitment, call me a bitch but that's what I am (before though). Then there's this guy who I notice from my computer subject and he was freaking cute. I've told my college friends that he will be mine! Thus, the teasing. I flirted with him and yes, I stole him from his girlfriend (again) and broke my boyfriend's heart. I invited him for my 18th birthday party and started making out. To make it short after a month, I called him mine.. and guess what? After a month again, I found out I was pregnant. I was 18, and very young.
Mom's the calm one. Dad didnt talk to me for months, after I give birth, that's the only time he did say something. "Disappointment. I told you, you can live freely not conceive! But what's done is done and we can take it back. Be a good mother". That broke my heart, but I wouldn't give up.
She was born last May 2007. Her name is Mia Amerie Yve. Her father and I broke up 2 months after I gave birth.
Everytime I fail at something, my parents would talk about responsibility. And I wasnt over the parties and everything
Until last year, around June, I overdosed and it was near-death experience for me. I saw my daughter before my eyes, and how she will suffer because of my irresponsibility. It reminded me that I'm her only parent. That I'll be the only one who can fight for her and stand up for her.
And that change everything.
Right now, she's almost 2. Big and talkative. We love eating, watching tv, watching youtube vids and shopping together. She would always make me feel good when I'm in my lowest.
Being pregnant at 18, is something Im not proud of. But my daughter is someone I will always be proud of. Despite everything that my heart when through, she gave me reason to fight for life. She's my inspiration!
Im 20, and a single mom. And very proud of it! :)
Amerie, mama will make you proud! I love you baby!