Of gaining weight

Aha! My infamous weight issues.

I've been having weight issues since I was in gradeschool. My grandmother force fed me when I was around 7 years old because I was thin. Then my aunt moved in with us in our house, and my weight suddenly boomed like it wasn't stick thin before. Big shaggy chin, big tummy and really tight shirts. 2 years later, since I've been having crushes already (at a young age! hahaha), I lost weight again.

In highschool I was always teased as fat or chubby, although looking at my pictures now, Hell no! I was curvy and had huge perky breast. At a young age of 13, I have been crying myself to sleep because I was fat. And this habit continue until now.

I slowly lose weight during college, because I've been drinking and smoking a lot. Going out really made me forget to eat, there would be days I survive because I was drowning myself with so much beer in my system. And finally the crying stopped when I saw my jeans size go from 28-26!

Then I got pregnant, and my weight kinda went down hill from there.

When I found out I was pregnant (I was 18years old that time), I was 100-110lbs. And since it was a first born and first apo, I was spoiled to death! They would call me during meals, because I can't miss it because I'm pregnant. Of course, the drinking and smoking stopped too. Before giving birth they weight me .. I was 160lbs. I wanted to kill myself for gaining 50-60lbs in a couple of months! I also didnt breast fed my first born, which made the losing weight more slowly as if it's not slow enough.

After 3 years, I managed to sliced off 40lbs and 6inches from my pants size(after giving birth) and continue losing weight ....

Then I got pregnant again! Holy JESUS! hahaha. I was trying to control my cravings this time, and I did it until I was nearing my 5th month. Then my OB told me that me and the baby is underweight. Of course, my nagging husband asked me to eat, and eat I did ... Of course I want to give birth to another healthy baby. I gained so much again this time. And my latest weight is 170-180lbs.

I've been crying myself to sleep since I gave birth because of my weight issue. Sometimes I would eat and eat until I annoy myself and cry like a newborn baby. I know how hard it is for my husband to see a happy-go-lucky girl turned into someone who doesn't even want to go out because she feels fat.

So, today, June 27 2011 I would start to live healthy.

This is not only for my family, for my husband and my kids .. I'm going to lose weight because they deserve a person who's confident and be lively again. :) I wont go into diet crashing, so this might take a while. Also, since I just had a CSection, gym is not in the list. I also dont promise to be skinny, but I promise to be more healthy. :) Mid-year resolution I guess. :)

I'll be updating weekly (aside from blogging about makeup) on how it's going. There would be no weighing scale and measuring tapes, so I would not feel pressured to lose weight. My goal is to look and be healthy, not to be stick thin. Right My first attack would be Low Carb diet. :) Wish me luck.

And by any chance my husband is reading this, Hi baby! I'm doing this for our family, and for myself! I love you.